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Out of Control

Today’s Reflection

I’M FALLING APART TODAY; I feel out of control. My mind jumps from one thought to another like a bed full of monkeys, and I’m the one who fell off and bumped my head. I want to scream, “Mama, call the doctor,” while seriously doubting anyone can help me. A hurting soul cannot be satisfied with quick fixes. …

It is an inelegant, confusing process, this process called grief. Today I don’t feel useful anymore. I have relinquished my need to do anything purposeful, to succeed at anything, to impress anyone — including God. I must have packed my courage ad work ethic in a suitcase that got lost in the airport baggage claim.

I live with so many questions and no answers. I suppose I simply need to quit mewling, be patient with the bereavement process, and let God work out my future. But right now I just want two aspirin for my bumped head.

When feeling confused, stressed, or out of control, I go to my bedroom and sit in my overstuffed armchair. This morning I wasn’t even conscious I was doing that, and I’m not sure how long I had been sitting there. Out of habit, I reached for my Bible and my Disciple study manual and started to read. The brain fog began to lift as I read and re-read Jeremiah’s letter to the exiles in Babylon. …

That letter was for me. My future is in God’s hands; God has not forgotten me. I need to go to God in prayer again and again until my scary, out-of-control spells pass. In prayer time, something mysterious happens. God wipes away fear and brings peace to my troubled spirit.

– Nell E. Noonan
A Widow’s Prayer

From pages 41-42 of A Widow’s Prayer: Finding God’s Grace in the Days Ahead by Nell E. Noonan. Copyright © 2015 by Nell E. Noonan. All rights reserved. Used by permission of Upper Room Books. http://bookstore.upperroom.org/ Learn more about or purchase this book.

Today’s Question

What helps you when life seems out of control. Share your thoughts.

Today’s Scripture

Then he called his disciples and said to them, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury.

Mark 12:43, NRSV

This Week: pray for world leaders. Submit your prayer to The Upper Room Living Prayer Center or share it in the comment section.

Did You Know?

In need of prayer? The Upper Room Living Prayer Center is a 7-day-a-week intercessory prayer ministry staffed by trained volunteers. Call 1-800-251-2468 or visit The Living Prayer Center website.

This week we remember: Antoinette Brown Blackwell (November 5).

Lectionary Readings

(Courtesy of Vanderbilt Divinity Library)

Sponsored by Upper Room Ministries ®. Copyright © 2018 | PO Box 340004 | Nashville, TN 37203-0004 | USA

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{ 10 comments… add one }

  • Lou November 10, 2018, 4:01 am

    This reflection speaks to me as I again am awake at 3am wrestling with my thoughts and unanswered questions. Some days are better than others – when I feel like this I come to the ur to read or to my bible as the writer does. I also try to lay quietly and list all that I have to be grateful for. God has given me much to be grateful for- I pray for His peace to quiet my mind in these early hours.
    Prayers for all the ur faithful.

    • Connie November 10, 2018, 8:46 am

      Yes, the early hours can bring uneasiness. Then the sunrise……

  • robert moeller November 10, 2018, 5:15 am

    It’s been a while since I had my most heart wrenching grieving. God and time have alleviated much of the anguish I endured. Still this reflection stirs up some of the memories, experiences of that time. Other memories of that time are still very much with me.

    Another tough experience has some similarities, but also very different memories. Through both the loss of my wife and recovering from financial problems, God has seen me through. I pray for guidance as my son and I prepare for a big transition filled with hope for much needed progress. One must never give up on God as God never gives up on us.

    Prayers for government leaders, peaceful resolutions to unsettled election results, and despite differences a willingness to try and work together to solve problems. The country is very much in need of resolutions to problems. Ask God, turn to God, listen to God’s guidance the country will be back on track.

    Prayers Jill made it home safely, Julie is progressing with health, employment, home safety, and relationship issues, prayers for Mary’s Mum on her birthday, thankful for the right job for Mary, well being and sustenance
    for Marcy, God’s peace and blessings for Lou, Connie, Betsy, Andrea, and Connie.

    A blessed weekend and Happy Veteran’s Day!

  • Jill November 10, 2018, 6:05 am

    When my mind is racing and my prayers scattered – sometimes I just listen to music. Something from Casting Crowns or Sara Groves is usually my go to. If I am able to concentrate – I inevitably end up in Psalms, drifting in and out of prayer. God meets me there – wherever I am capable of getting to.
    Grateful for safe travel yesterday – it rained/sleeted the whole way down. Saw many salt trucks, but didn’t encounter any slipping. Was home before dark and to bed early.
    It’s blustery and snowing now. Mom, my sister and I are headed to another holiday art bazaar this morning. We will be bundled up. We will meet up with Dad and Don for lunch. This show, in particular, is a tradition for the three of us. My sister is always in town for this one. Grateful for another year of this tradition.

  • Julie November 10, 2018, 8:26 am

    Lately there are several scripture verses that I recite to myself to calm down and reassure me of God’s providential care. My favorite is Jeremiah 29:11.
    Prayers for Lou and may her mind be calmer at night and may she sleep trusting in God’s assurances.
    Prayers for Robert and Erich and their impending relocation. As tomorrow is Veteran’s Day, I thank Robert for his service and thank the Lord for Robert and his safety.
    Prayers for Jill and gratitude for safe travel and continued traditions.
    Prayers for Mary and her family as they celebrate together (should be done as it is Saturday night there).
    Prayers for Connie and her family, Betsy and her family, April and her family, and Andrea and her family.
    Prayers for Marcy and her well being.
    Thank you for your prayers and kind words. I am getting discouraged.
    Prayers for all of the UR family and visitors

    • Marcy November 10, 2018, 6:40 pm

      Oh Julie, you are so loved, my sister. May God help us to hold each other up through discouragement until He brings us to peace of heart and mind, as He always does! It’s hard to see the reason in some days, but that’s when I too, remember the words of Jeremiah 29:11. And we trust Him to guide us.

      Lucy is very persistent with me, “performing” in such ways that draws a smile, if not out and out laughter! Our pets are so sensitive to our moods, aren’t they? She was looking for her canned food and got in the kitchen cabinet, next to the stove. (Which was the wrong one.) All of a sudden, I heard crashes, which were cookie sheets and a loud meow. Worried, I got to the kitchen as fast as I could, and there she was, bristling, tail puffed up and ears back. As soon as she saw me, she sat down and looked at me as if nothing happened, with her head cocked. Needless to say, she got some canned food. I’m almost sure this was purposeful and I hope it doesn’t become a habit! I keep Chai and Tazzie, your sweeties, in my prayers. Sending prayers and Love to you, my sister.

  • Mary Ng Shwu Ling November 10, 2018, 8:34 am

    Thanks Robert for your prayers!

    Praying that Erich’s training went well and may he be equipped to handle his job well.

    When life seems out of control, I commit my life into God’s hands and ask Him to take over. I have learned to do that every morning and so far God is in full control of my life.

    Thank you so God for taking full control of my life.

    May you lead and guide us every step of our life journey.

    Thank you all for praying!

    Grateful for the fellowship and God’s blessings on my mum’s birthday.

  • Connie November 10, 2018, 8:44 am

    Sometimes I wonder what happened to my coping skills and how did I do all that I used to do. But I know God is with me and will help me. He is my strength.
    Thankful for:
    A warm home, warm family and friends who love me.
    This site that lifts me up and inspires me.
    Our bird bath that heats the water in this frigid cold.
    Mary’s dear Mum on her birthday.

  • Marcy November 10, 2018, 6:19 pm

    Prayers for all of my UR friends and siblings in Christ Jesus, our Savior. And thank you all for your continued prayers.

    It’s so strange that I’m struggling so much. I’m so easily overwhelmed, as I fight the darkness and debilitating pain throughout my body. I am always rooted in God’s Love and the Hope He provides, but some days the words in my Bible don’t penetrate, and I read over and over, the old favorite passages instead.

    My caregiver, Mary, had the flu, so I’m thankful she didn’t come. Glass half full. She should start on Monday now.

    God has blessed us with each other and He loves us beyond our understanding. I am grateful that I can pray for all of you, with mindfulness and from the heart. Praying thanks that Jill is home safely and that Robert and Erich continue to plan for the future. I’m praying for Julie, that God fills her with His strength, now and always. Prayers for Lou and Connie, Betsy and Andrea, April and Mary and Mary’s Mum.

    And these three remain: Faith, Hope and Love, and the greatest of these is LOVE!

  • Andrea November 10, 2018, 7:00 pm

    Blessings all, this cold Minnesota weekend. We have a light frosting of snow on the ground.

    ” My future is in God’s hands; God has not forgotten me. ” Yes.

    Tomorrow the bell choir I joined plays twice during the church service. I am a bit nervous and ask you to send up a prayer.

    Keeping you all close to my heart and in my prayers. Marcy, I pray for your comfort and support.

    Blessings.

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